Love Isn’t About Becoming, it is Being

Carlene Kurdziel donated a pair of snow boots to my heartbreak project. It was my first donated object, and a doozie. The glue that holds snowboard boots together is pervasive, and there is stitching on top of it. I had to slice through the stitching with an exacto knife and then muscle the glue apart. 

Carlene wrote about her experiences with the snowboard boots below, and why they were important to her.  Check out her work at Carlene Julianna

As a part of Katrina Craig’s Suffering Project, I donated a pair of snowboard boots, gently used. By gently, I mean exactly one miserable time. These boots were given to me by a person who had a great impact on my life, more so in their absence than presence. Hurdling downhill sideways and throwing myself to the ground was not my idea of a great afternoon, but my significant other at the time told me that well, it should be.This relationship didn’t teach me in the midst of love, it taught me once I was out. For years, these boots have followed me around, some obscure piece of memorabilia from a time in my life that brings me unease to reflect upon, yet a sense of peace, all at once. For in this relationship, I was taught what love is, and what it isn’t. Here’s what I learned:

Love isn’t need, it is release.
Love isn’t change, it is acceptance.
Love isn’t worry, it is knowledge.
Love isn’t becoming, it is being.

Forgiveness goes a long way when you recognize your own dependency, when you mistakenly lose yourself to another who doesn’t recognize your value. We’ve all experienced these relationships, got lost within them, and leave transformed; much like these boots. Love based on my choices, and enjoy the serendipitous moments that occur when one’s life is lived with intention.

In case you’re wondering how hard they were to take apart….

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